People have complained about the tone of TBBT to have become more serious, but I actually praise it. Instead of mere scientific laughfests from caricatures the viewer is increasingly made to appreciate the humanity of the characters that make up the show. While the comedy remains the focus, the emotions that underlie and that seethe beneath the terse sentences and the unsaid expressions make the show more colorful for me. It’s actually the jarring transitions that make me more endeared to series like this and H&C. Though it’s stomach-crampingly funny at one point, it immediately becomes a trigger for tears when beneath the laughs lie the emotions that the characters feel.

A great way to illustrate this is the awkward presence of Penny at the time when Leonard, Priya, and the rest of their friends were having dinner at Leonard’s apartment. There was witty banter throughout the occasion, but it was enlightening to see how Penny reacted to the aptness of the relationship between Leonard and Priya: both of them were highly intelligent and capable of holding a conversation. They were even able to recall a humorous scene in Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew.  The aftermath, of course, is that Penny broke down into tears after Leonard and Priya were gone.  (season 4, episode 16)

It is this surprising and jarring transition that makes the comedy all the more funny and the sadness all the more grave, because it is unexpected and yet apropos for the occasion. I think I’ll get back to this later on: my point is that it is the background of comedy that illuminates and gives gravitas to the serious occurrences in the show, especially because the seriousness is unexpected. The seriousness jumps out at the viewer, and erodes the foundation of emotional stability because it precisely is jarring. Compared to series which are consistently sad, or just really fun-fests the series that are bittersweet are for me the ones that are more memorable because of this surprise element. The tears are jerked out of you.

We have, of course, been quite busy the past month: there were tons of examinations, but two weeks ago was the final medicine week of our lives. I simply had to enjoy it. While I failed being the three-peat champion in chess, I was able to contribute a bit to our basketball team and win the championship for the third straight time. I was also able to enjoy being the champion and winner to what is tantamount to being the last quiz bee of my life, and until now I still feel really good about it, because I was the one who was able to answer the difficult questions that widened the gap between us and our opponents. I also competed in big-ball volleyball, and sang for the first time in front of a crowd. While my grades may be teetering between mediocre and average, I have been trying my utmost to enjoy real life, and have been quite successful to an extent.

I am not happy that I have seemingly abandoned my blog, but it has been a week or so since animeblogger.net was down, and it’s really been a while since I have wanted to update. Rest assured that I will never stop being a fan of anime, and will always support anime as a medium just as creative as television series and movies. I do think that my temporary absence from the blogosphere rendered me lost in the plethora of discussion of new anime and individual episodes, but I’ll come back stronger, if not in a few months, then in a year from now (God willing).

I have no regrets, however: it is really endearing and cathartic to win the final quiz bee competition in your life, and to do so in your final academic year of medical school. I have competed in the past years and have been on a gradual rise, only to take it all in my final year, and for that I am extremely grateful. I’m still around, don’t worry. Cheers!

Yesterday, after having a reach-out to destitute children, some of us – totally new to one another, decided to eat together and share a meal, perhaps of quiet thanksgiving and celebration of the day done, of the children we tried to help, going beyond the requirement of the course (our school is society-oriented) and empathizing with the plight of the kids when that topic popped up in front of our very eyes.

One of the girls asked: ‘What’s your passion?’

Of course, I simply replied ‘anime.’

This was when she asked why, which made me think for quite some time. Here is what came up during the discussion:

• Unrequited love. Our country, even until now, is still gripped tightly by the colonial powers that once controlled it. Of course, I don’t pertain to this as a sense of physical bondage; however, our minds and thoughts are still predominantly towards these colonizers (and even I have myself to blame). Our mentality as a people was quite scarred by these countries (United States and Spain) that we have failed to develop ourselves as people with an identity. Why have I mentioned this? That is because our media reflect what Western minds have ingrained in our thoughts. We appeal to consumables: we like ideas that are easily internalized for the most part, and often times we simply love some primitive form of Marxist clash that doesn’t improve us as a people or as individuals. We love simple, circumambulating dramas: we love thesis-antithesis-catharsis formulas, and it really reflects in our television so much that (yes, there it is), even the extremely real situation of unrequited love fails to exist in television for the most part, or in the different TV programs seen here. Drama in television has become boy-meets-girl, boy-likes-girl, girl-likes boy, sofsdhguswgwuty38qtfsdjnfvsdgvq34qcw0fvzynvbyes0das0gnt (protracted static), and then a happy ending. There isn’t even a blurring of the world: the world is only seen a lot of times in black or white, which it isn’t supposed to be.

• Media as simply a consumable, and nothing more. Western media for the most part only serves to be consumed, whereas Eastern media would really force oneself to think (a lot). I think that I myself wouldn’t learn from watching these dramas on television that deal with the formula mentioned in the previous bulleted paragraph. I’d rather watch something like Hiatari Ryoukou, and it would be a lot more intelligent, because it lacks the protracted static of Philippine television. Compare watching Last Life in the Universe from Scary Movie 4. *shudders*

• Realism. If you can’t even have unrequited love in a supposedly live-action drama, how can you be realistic? Incidentally, that’s also among the main reasons why I love anime but am simply blasé about cartoons. There is simply no character development within cartoons (as expected, of course), but I’ll be damned if there is even character development a quarter as fast as Elfen Lied (melodramas included). The shows move at a pace that’s grindingly slow, which irks me, and character development ALWAYS happens near the end, where there are series of epiphanies, somewhat so OMFG UNBELIEVABLE that I find watching them simply proving that one is absurd. As much as I’ve tried to avoid mentioning H&C in this post, I can’t help but do so, as that’s simply the epitome of gradual, believable change within the characters without even saying a lot of ‘I love you’ from the characters or other bullshit. It’s also pathetic, not bathetic like most melodramas (Philippine and Western) I’ve watched some episodes of.

I think I’m smart at the very least, and my grades when I’m a little bit serious reflect that, as well as people telling me from different walks of life that I really am smart (and no, I don’t pay them anything, they just pay compliments). I’m happy when people say that to me, because I personally think it’s true, but it always helps when people affirm what you believe in. Being lazy and being contented with being called smart may not be the ‘best’ way to live life (according to the ‘elders’), but it sure beats hypocrisy. I have, for example, an acquaintance who studies perhaps every day it is possible for him to study, and he’s arrogant, because he believes he is ‘smart.’ I don’t think intelligence can be quantified with diligence or persistence: simply put, it is inherent – it is talent, and if you are one without talent, you’re nothing more than a social climber: you are nothing more than a hypocrite. Incidentally, no one tells him that he’s smart, and despite the perseverance he has given to studying the previous semester, we ended up with the same grades. (It perhaps has been a crushing blow to his ego. No matter how much he’d top me for the next years we’re in university, I can always say that though I didn’t exert as much of an effort as he had, we still got the same marks. I love silencing hypocrites.)

What, then, does this have anything to do with anime?

In real life, I admit, I am a hypocrite. Admitting that will exonerate you from the guilt of hypocrisy because you know you are and you know you have had been one. With this, I can propel myself forward by being true to myself, and that is what I find missing among anime enthusiasts. In the school, to be entirely honest, every single one of my classmates know that I love anime and despite the fact that it sometimes irks them when I keep on trying to let them watch episodes of Tsukihime or Honey and Clover perhaps, I don’t stop with my plodding, and I don’t stop being proud as an otaku. It’s because people misinterpret what anime and otaku-dom is all about. Simply to be a beacon in the darkness, an engulfing, beguiling, maddening darkness, is enough for me – despite society’s castigation and intense questioning on why I like anime even as an adult. I always reply that it’s simple. Most anime aren’t even for children.

So whenever people ask if you’re otaku, and you are, say yes! Ask them how they define otaku, however, and correct them whenever possible. Because despite otaku having negative connotations in almost every country in the world, education always helps. We shouldn’t be trying hard to disguise what we are not. That would be the greatest sin.

***

Asides aside, I hung around the chatroom of the ripping-group [LA] yesterday, because they dropped Hikaru no Go out of their ripping list, having only MAR and Prince of Tennis as the anime they will rip everytime a new episode comes out. By the way, I stand corrected by having expounded on what Jetstream was. It isn’t a Norwegian streaming-media company, but it is a subsidiary of Cartoon Network, and I was surprised I only knew about it recently. (I’m almost always behind anime happenings, however, so I don’t really mind all that much.)

A Google search brought me to several sites talking about Jetstream’s arrival; however, I viewed only AnimeNewsNetwork’s take on its advent, because ANN has been a reputable source when it comes to anime for quite some time already.

Toonami Jetstream is now online, serving free full length episodes of Naruto, Hikaru no Go, and the North American premieres of MÄR and The Prince of Tennis. The service officially launches Monday.

There you have it. [LA], perhaps, as a group, is among the most useless in the anime community (no offense to [LA]) because even one of the group members themselves admitted to doing nothing more than having a stream catcher, taking the stream and then posting it on somewhere™. (Hey, this is perhaps among the other things I’m not used to in Linux – they have another button to use to create a special character, not the alt button. I don’t know what U pertains to.)

I’m just pretty happy, and I guess it’s also news to some that Jetstream shows anime episodes of MAR, Hikaru no Go, Naruto, and Prince of Tennis for 24/7 – and for free. Still, because I’m not under a broadband, don’t watch the other anime and definitely don’t watch dubs, I leave the choice of viewing Jetstream to you. Perhaps if you want some laughs, you could watch Hikaru no Go and laugh at Sai’s ethereally gay voice. Or if you simply want a laugh, just tune in to Jetstream.

On Shuu’s loneliness:

I’m not in any way disappointed with Shuu or think he’s a train wreck. I perceive him as an extremely selfless guy, and this is the reason why loneliness often pervades him. He often struggled to discover himself, but ultimately succumbed to his altruistic tendencies. I hope that Hagu, if anything, can help him discover himself as they progress on.

On moonlight as a motif:

The moon in literature has often been perceived to be possessing feminine traits. It also paints a picture of loneliness and solitude, and whenever the moon is mentioned, a silent sadness often pervades that said scene. It vaguely reminds me of how the moon atmospherically commanded and controlled a lot of the scenes in Thomas Hardy’s The Return of the Native, especially those dealing with Eustacia Vye, a woman far beyond her time and place. This was apt in relation to Rika and her relationship with Mayama, because for one, Rika is a very lonely person. She tries to disconnect herself from the world, living alone amidst a blanket of darkness. The moon, however, is a very important recurring theme because it seems the moon, or rather, what it connotes – the darkness, calls for her, beckons her to come and rest forever. It can also symbolize Mayama as the moon to her own darkness – whenever Rika is dealt alongside the moon, Mayama is never far away. In the first season, one scene has him looking up to the moon – and in an epiphany discovering that despite not knowing much about the world or reality, knows that he loves Rika so much that it hurts him, that just coming back meant everything already.

In the Master and Margarita, Mikhail Bulgakov’s masterpiece, the moonlight’s reflection as if painting a path – the one stressed out by the seemingly simple painting by Munch – was the way how Pontius Pilate (IIRC) walked up to heaven. This path, artistically, and as shown in this episode, was a path to the nether world – the other life, the life Rika so painfully yearns for – the life Shuu almost gave her. Moon River, eh?

On Shuuji and Rika:

No matter what shippers of this couple would like to believe, Shuuji didn’t dream of anything more than being a really, really, really excellent friend to Rika, to the extent of trying to kill her, to stop the pain tearing her up inside. ‘A soundless scream’ was how he described it, as if she wanted death to come by her and take her away. He saw himself as only the third wheel in his relationship with both Harada and Rika, proven by the fact that he said ‘although we lived together, it was always myself and them … all I could do was watch over their happiness.’

This would further support the idea that Shuu is simply too selfless and too altruistic that he also fails to develop himself. Perhaps this is why some people call him a trainwreck? I, however, think that he’s a modern epitome of a saint – one who watches over others and sacrifices himself for the sake of them. To end her pain, even killing her was an option to him. That was how much he cared, and if one had a friend like that – one must be a very lucky person. Rika was extremely lucky, and she knew that. She knew how the pain didn’t only tear herself apart, it also tore Shuu apart.

She knew that the only option for them was to stay apart: Harada loomed like a spectre over them, preventing them from improving their lives despite the fact that the contrary was what he always aimed for. Like Shuu, he always wanted both Shuu and Rika to be happy. Seeing that he could no longer help her, he simply hopes that Mayama could take her past Harada’s death, ‘to the future.’

I hope he could take her there, too. I really, really, really do.

On Mayama and Rika:

This is where differences in opinion often pop up. Do we condone Mayama’s stalker-like behaviors or not? Before that, however, let us dissect the scenes little by little:

• The journey to Sapporo. Although nothing much is said, Rika, after saying goodbye to Ueno-san (sp?) looks wistfully at the train marker to Sapporo. Mayama, detecting this, pushes her to enter the train on just a whim. It was simply this force that she needed to finally be able to look back and connect to the past, and for the viewers to realize that Harada was simply as good, even better than Shuuji. Even inside the train, Rika’s still quite austere and even serious. Did I think Mayama was stupid when he did this? I personally don’t. Would she even accede at all to going to Hokkaido if they booked a plane, etc? I don’t think so. I think Mayama showed that he really cared for her by knowing what she wanted – without even asking her. He certainly didn’t perform any stalker behavior when he prodded her to the train – it was simply of genuine love. The simple things that he did for her – turn off the lights, set the alarm, sleep beside her – was everything that he wished for. This is quintessential joy. He couldn’t bear, however, all that pounding joy – it was an unbearable lightness of being, to borrow from Milan Kundera. He slept at the ‘living room’ instead. This can also be taken as his unwillingness to even disturb Rika a little. He wanted her sleep to be as placid as possible that he was willing to sacrifice his. The first thing he asked, however, was when they boarded off the train was if her leg was alright. He didn’t even think of his own well-being, even though he was deprived of a lot of sleep. And despite that, we still see her distancing herself from Mayama, with her lukewarm responses – and superficial blasé to Mayama’s condition. Is this absurd? Simply put, no. There are some people who stay celibate for the rest of their lives as a dedication of their undying love for their partner. This, clearly, was human nature.

  • Proving Mayama’s total dedication to Rika was the fact that he tried to hide how he felt, despite Rika knowing. WAIT A MINUTE. This was among the few times Rika expressed concern for Mayama. There is at least a little progression in their relationship between one another.

• The arrival at Otaru, and the destroyed house. This is why H&C is among the best anime of all time. Its atmosphere blends so well with its mood that it’s undeniably masterful. The foggy atmosphere, the gray sky, the bleak clouds blend so well with Rika’s vapid clothing – even her platinum blonde hair – as it contrasts so highly with Mayama’s colorful (relatively) clothes and his brown hair. Mayama became the spiritbreaker of that place. He had arrived to destroy what sad remnant of the past of Rika was, and to bring color to Rika’s life. The atmosphere and how the environment of her place was drawn is very symbolic to convey the scene properly. I think it did.

  • We also see why Rika loved Harada so much. Nevertheless, there were still things that tied her to her past, like her dog for example. There were still things that aided her in keeping alive. We also see how ‘empty’ was magnified – her parents didn’t care for her, and it reflected with Rika and her perception that only her dog loved her.

• The implied sex, and the thunderous occurrences. Sex is a consummation of love. We all know that, especially for those people serious with their love. With the act lies the confirmation that Rika, at the least, loved Mayama. It is questionable if her love for him was at par with Harada; she loved him nonetheless. Mayama, however, the dedicated and unflinching lover of four years, knows that she’s up to something. Let’s go back to the first season – it’s implied that they’ve also made love, and that Mayama does anything and everything for Rika. Mayama, however, has no longer become a blind lover – he realizes that Rika makes love to him, no matter how much it hurt him, to either hurt herself more, or to obviate suspicion. This is why he put an alarm on her bag. As I stated in ASuki, it was once a goodbye gift as she was going towards perdition, but afterwards, after that speech, it became an act of love.

  • Stalker or not? This is where a bifurcation of opinions occur. Was Mayama a stalker? Taking it to the most technical aspect, yes, he was. However, life isn’t all that simple. Rika isn’t your normal lady, either. He did everything in the name of love. As cheesy as that may have sounded, it was true. Would you seriously think that Rika would still be alive had he not done so? Had she not gone back to Hokkaido, would anything have tied her to living? Shuu has had already gone away, and were it not for him, it would be a safe bet for her to have killed herself. I think the readers would have realized that at ep3 – she was planning to walk the river to the moon. Yes, Mayama may have had been a stalker, and yes, he had admitted to it – but that was to prevent something worse from happening. Did he really have a choice given her personality and her perception about life? I personally condone it. At his position, of course.

  • Love or not? I don’t really know, but if it’s not love, it’s inexorably close. This marks the first time that Rika sincerely reciprocated her feelings towards Mayama.

    • But it was only a hug, right? Yes, it was only a hug, but it was a reciprocation. After that was the look of guilt on her face, the look of remorse. It seems that his speech more tightly bound her to Mayama, if not the world. To support this further, it seems that post-scene was the first real conversation they’ve had – that wasn’t really about work. She even smiled while talking to him. Hope springs eternal.

After coming back to the dormitory, I was able to read almost a chapter of Writer’s Guide and Index to English; this made me happy because I have made progress towards being able to write better with this blog and in real life. I will slowly plod through that book, but I can assure you that my English would improve, at least marginally better, after I’ve finished that book. I hope to be a great writer someday, be it only in this blog or in the press.

My parents then called me up, and I was able to muster the courage to tell them that I didn’t like Biology at all. Surprisingly, they were very supportive – even my dad, who was plodding me to take Biology – told me to simply think about what I really want in life, and although everything is still vague and plasmic as of now, the fact that they have given me the leeway to choose what course I want and the fact that they don’t expect anything from me this semester lifts a big load off my back. To tell the truth, I simply want to write this blog everyday, and encourage as well as participate with the insightful comments blog-readers have for my posts, some posting insights way better than my posts.

That already gave me a high, as if I smoked some weed AND sniffed some cocaine. But that still wasn’t enough: through the comments of my friends, a confirmatory part of the TV broadcast of Miss Universe, and this link, I found out that Kurara Chibana, Japan’s representative of the Miss Universe, won 1^st runner-up in the pageant! That was so fun! (I personally even think she deserved to win the contest – I mean, come on – the Puerto Rican looked like the apotheosis of a girl that’s full of plastic surgery: the smile was even plastered on her face, whereas Chibana~san looked more natural and less affected [in terms of make-up and whatnot]. Plus, Chibana~san is really smart, too! She can speak French and Spanish … plus, she may be the antithesis to that Puerto Rican and also to FAT YAOI FANGIRLS: she may be THE HOT ANIME FANGIRL! [Guys, keep it quiet – your fapping is quite noisy. XD ])

To top this all off was an episode of H&C II. What more could I say other than ‘YES! YES! YES! YES!’? That spontaneous and fiery speech by Mayama was so heartening, so raw an expression of love that I couldn’t help but cry (again). What was more rewarding, however, was that Mayama told her how much he loved her – without even using the word ‘love.’ And just like that, just with the power of love, Rika finally accepted that there is a life ahead of her – and hugging Mayama became a sign that she’s moved past Harada. The sex was initially supposed to be a goodbye gift to Mayama – as Rika tried to escape to Harada, despite the warnings of Shuu, because silently, she wished for death to come to her. She opened the mouth of her heart to scream but no sounds came out except the loneliness of emptiness. With Mayama’s honestly forceful speech, however, that goodbye gift turned to an affirmation of Mayama’s love to her – a wake-up call that rang upon her to connect herself to the world again, that ‘nothing was finished. Nothing was ever lost.’ according to Hemingway. And with that silent hug, she had accepted and opened her heart to reciprocate the love that has been there for quite some time already. With the seemingly shallow invitation lay something deeper: it was a confirmation – ‘I have come back.’

I’m really happy for her, and I’m really happy myself.

This has led me to think about comparing two similar anime, and these anime are Hikaru no Go and Akagi. Both are anime about sports, with a lead more or less a genius in the game that they play (one may argue about Hikaru otherwise, but taking two to three years to be a 2-dan in Go is no easy task, even with Sai’s help). I have had placed HnG at the back of my mind, that was, until I found a torrent in somewhere™ (yes, that’s a lame moniker for a place we all love, and that place isn’t AnimeSuki) where a group ripped a dubbed episode from a Cartoon Network subsidiary – the Toonami gave it away, I guess – known as Jetstream. If I’m correct and if the entry in Wikipedia wasn’t some idiot’s fun, it’s located in Norway, and is a streaming media company. I think the entry wasn’t playing around with me, because of the seeming correctness of the post in relation to the comments posted by the torrent uploader. I didn’t puke after watching the dub (although I did feel queasy ) because it wasn’t as bad as it could possibly have been. Still, it reawakened my interest in that anime, making me feel that I should rewatch that series. (I did watch it about a year ago, and I really had fun, although the ending, despite not really being bad, was somewhat vapid.)

It was from here that I started thinking about its similarities with Akagi. Both dealt with extremely niche sports – go and mahjong aren’t really as popular as basketball or soccer. Both dealt with some transmutation of bildungsroman, a style of writing a novel where the writer concentrates on the physical, psychological, and emotional development of a usually youthful main character (in Akagi, Akagi, and in Hikaru no Go, Hikaru). Both didn’t concentrate on anything else – the two series didn’t try to spread themselves too thinly, thus becoming good anime.

I like Akagi more, though. (This has been from a perspective that has viewed all the episodes, specials and whatnot about HnG and all the subbed episodes of Akagi [well, not really true anymore, because a new episode has come out and I'm downloading it right now].) Here is where the mention of H&C is put into use, because I found in Akagi what I found in H&C: I found that magical grit and realism that I feel HnG didn’t have. Honestly speaking, although I really liked Sai and HnG, I felt that Sai was somewhat extraneous and unneeded and was only a plot device for Hikaru’s improvement. Yes, I know that HnG was based on a manga, and yes, I know that it was a creative effort; however, I’d simply like to point out that no matter how much you point at its realism, with Sai’s existence and his undeniable intercalation with Hikaru’s psyche, it doesn’t possess the sheer power of the grit of Akagi shown in that series’s drawings (use of thick lines, sharp features, and dark atmosphere to heighten the black mood of the show) or in its characters. Akagi isn’t some idealistic kid, and as much as I like Hikaru, Akagi simply is more realistic in terms of his outlook in life and his actions. He isn’t some celibate teenager, and one can even ask what he did with millions of yen (spent) in only two days. How he views life is something the generation of today mostly view life – he views it as something post-apocalyptic, something that one respects, but does not look forward to. Ghosts aren’t really realistic plot devices, are they?

(I would have finished writing this post earlier, too, if there wasn’t this fucking scary electrical explosion/lightning that occurred near our dormitory. It was blue-green lightning, and one can immediately tell that it wasn’t your ordinary lightning. We had a blackout right after that, and I wasn’t able to sleep properly.)

Of course, in the end, it still boils down to your mileage. If you like the positive, colorful side (and want to disregard a lot of reality) of idealistic thinking, watch HnG. The thing with it is that it never is depressing despite a lot of things happening. It can only be bittersweet because of its sheer positivity, and that can be a plus to the show. If you want the grit and the human realism, acts of human nature (not like Akari’s seriously queer nature – the girl is too altruistic that she probably belongs to the rare group of humans that could manage to be consistently so), watch Akagi. Akagi, simply put, is a guy with balls, and admixed with his cold and calculating nature and his carnal desires is a person who helps those who need help, a guy who tries to equate the balance between good and evil in the world, but in no way is good himself. This guy isn’t like the crying Hikaru, and his nature and soul is simply much more stronger. His crutches are himself; one can argue that Sai may have been only a projection of a weak-minded Hikaru. Akagi views death as nothing more than an end – the guy is a human, realistic, palpable, tangible, and yet – also scarily real, perhaps too real – I even think he acts as an apotheosis for the modern, individualistic man, clearly dissimilar to Hikaru’s acts of Enlightenment idealism.

The episode, by the way, was ripped by [LA], a group that also ripped the first episode of MAR. I was pretty lucky that I was able to download the episode of HnG using the torrent, because it had dwindling seeds and few to no leechers at all. I guess a lot of the serious anime community (those who take anime fandom and otakudom seriously, anyway) really don’t want to view dubbed episodes.

Nothing beats the original, they say. I guess it also applies to anime. It was only now that I was really able to put the sub vs. dub argument to the test, and now, I really can understand the position of those who prefer the sub.