This is an cocktail of Honey and Clover II – 03 and my life.
I’ll be damn straight: I think I failed an exam I was having difficulty studying because of the sheer amount of terms to master. I wasn’t depressed, however; I don’t know why, but it seems I’ve become terribly apathetic to everything coming from school except for those subjects I like (I didn’t choose my course, my parents did). I was enervated, however – your energy isn’t usually up whenever you come home expecting a failure.
Before having a tall glass of that fine Honey and Clover, I watched a badly subbed Detective Conan episode. No, I don’t like Detective Conan (in general, I don’t like anime that don’t end after 52 episodes, except for good ones like Hikaru no Go, and I watched the 443rd episode of DC). It was a random episode. I just watched it for no reason at all, simply on a whim. After that weak liqueur – it warmed me up to anime – I drank the heavyweight, the pure Honey and Clover.
If my eyes are made to well up in an episode in any series, I give that series credit. These anime are usually good. Cowboy Bebop and Elfen Lied are examples from the top of my head. However, when the anime either makes me stare in space for no less than an hour or make me cry (not teary-eyed, mind you) at least more than once, that anime would probably belong to among my top five – it’s my perception, but the anime that moves you the most should probably be your favorites. Shingetsutan Tsukihime made me stare, ponderingly, into space for no less than a two-hour spell; right now, however, it doesn’t beat Honey and Clover. If something can make you cry for five times – and the second season hasn’t even finished yet, it’s bound to be among the top IF not your top anime of all time.
Let me be honest: I think that every time I watch Honey and Clover, I lose my manliness yet develop my maturity. I throw a little manliness out the window every single episode every single time I watch a little bit of it, but I also develop a little more maturity. You could read the discussion about how anime genres sometimes hinder or stifle a holistic appreciation of anime here; it’s not that I’m whoring another blog post of mine, but I really value the comments of the different posters there. I throw a little bit of manliness out the window every time I watch Honey and Clover, because for the most part in dramatic episodes I can’t help but cry. It’s perhaps among one of the reasons why I’ve developed an apathy to all tedious school life, because I’ve learned to look and value life more within the mirror of Honey and Clover. From this anime I’ve also learned to value friendship, perhaps helping me to develop more control with it (although I’m still having a hard time) – and since I had and have been a romantic for quite some time, I love the realism in this anime, and it is shown again in this episode. I also can’t feel bad because my problem is only about school. It’s not about life or how I deal with it, but these people have real problems – problems of the heart, problems of the soul, problems of survival – everything bittersweet about humanity is mirrored by Honey and Clover. There isn’t anything platonic or bishounen-fare – it’s all about the beauty and sadness of reality.
Take for example the most recent episode of Honey and Clover II. Next to great literature, it was among the greatest (visual, moving) portraits of what love truly was. In just a snap, just a statement, Nomiya threw away the smugness he felt, the coldness, the pure metrosexuality he exuded. And what was it done for? It was done for an unrequited love (as of yet). It may be only an incident in different peoples’ daily lives, but seeing it as an isolated incident, one can really appreciate what life is all about: it’s about failing and standing up again. It’s about smiles and cries, about sanity and madness, but it’s all bittersweet. It’s all good.
And Nomiya’s struggle, albeit selfish, perhaps conceited, was so human and totally believable. I cried when Yamada cried, but it wasn’t the only reason. One may fault Mayama for viewing Rika’s Internet history as if a stalker, but really, if one loves someone that much – one would do anything just to know that beloved more. One may fault Rika for implying to want to die, to follow Harada – but tell that to someone who has known the pain of the loss of a loved one, and he’ll probably kick your ass.
Going back to Mayama, even I, here, in the real world, could feel the pain of loving someone that badly. To discover that the one you love has vague feelings, at best, towards you, and to look a picture of her hometown – a place that she yearns for but doesn’t go to because of her impending jobs, and you want to help so badly but you can’t, because she plods on; she plods on. In fact, the best thing about this series, I think, is that you feel so deeply for the characters because they’re really, really likable and at the least, decent people, but they contain so much humanity and struggle within them.
What Nomiya showed was a paragon of truly loving someone. What he did was a lot of hard work, and to throw all that manliness away – just to love again, was so heart-wrenching. I could ramble on and on, but the bottom line is, can this show get any better? Even the music that played to the heartaches Yamada and Nomiya felt was simply awesome.
July 18, 2006 at 10:23 pm
Hindi ko alam kung ano ang kurso mo pero, isipin mo na lang, kapag naka-graduate ka na at nakapagtrabaho eh puede mo nang gawin kung ano talaga yung gusto mo. Unsolicited advice, kaya in Tagalog ang comment ko ngayon. Hehehe =)
July 18, 2006 at 11:01 pm
I didn’t even know you were of the same race as me until I read your post on H&C II ep3 about Nomiya’s ‘pogi’ points. Where are you going to school? It’s always nice to meet someone close by, haha.
July 19, 2006 at 12:05 am
I don’t go to school anymore hehehe. Nandun ako sa introduction thread sa Anime Nano. Hindi ko naman talaga noon gustong sabihin kung taga-saan ako eh. ^_^;
July 19, 2006 at 12:16 am
anime|otaku, (or physics223, what should I refer to you as?) I know I’m not one to speak, since I’m female, but I don’t think that by watching a sentimental, romantic josei anime and crying would make you “lose your manliness”, or make you any less of a man, per se.
By implying that, it’s almost like saying that “manly” or masculine individuals are, consuqentially, immature. Just because you might shed a tear or two (or maybe a lot) doesn’t make you any less of the individual you are. If others fail to see that, then they are stubbornly complying to the stereotypes of what a “man should or should not do”, and fail to be acceptant and open-minded.
I know it can’t quite be applied the other way around, but this holds some truth: every time I watch a shounen action anime or a seinen series, does that make me any less feminine? I personally don’t see it that way, because I’m simply doing what I like, regardless of whether I’m female or male.
What has bothered me is how the unnoticed pressure for a male to be “manly” and “masculine” is often overlooked. Those who fail to meet the generally accepted criteria are ridiculed and mocked by their peers. Stereotypes often lead to discrimination: sex stereotypes especially.
So, I urge you not to think about it as “sacrificing your manliness for maturity.” Instead, you are being tolerant and unbiased enough to overcome society-based gender roles and remain true to yourself. It sounds cheesy, I know. But that in itself, is a very admirable accomplishment, even more so in an age where everyone is pressured and expected to “be a certain way” due to their biological anatomy.
Sorry for my rambling. I haven’t even watched this episode yet. (Waits for downstairs computer to be free.)
But I also want to add that I’ve been following your blog ever since I saw your post in that Ouran thread that said “THIS SHOW F*&@ING ROCKS!” or something like that. lol. And I was really surprised to see that you’re 18. Your level of maturity displayed through your posts seem years beyond that. (Besides the F$&*ING ROCKS! part, haha.)
~ Noodlehead
July 19, 2006 at 3:58 am
Society often looks upon even the tiniest of details that whenever you do something weird, you’re either a rebel, a deviant, or a homosexual. It doesn’t seem all that bad as I have written it, I guess, but it’s still there, and people seriously question why I watch anime ‘because it’s so gay.’ I was only writing about it because, believe it or not, it’s quite a hard task to talk about anime in society, unless one strikes lucky and lands with open-minded people (like I did, some days ago). I’m happy with myself that I can live beyond society’s roles, but also sad that not many are here with me.
Thanks for the wonderful comment, Noodlehead. I value your comments, and of course all of those who try to put a little bit of something more in my ramblings about anything in the animedom in general. But what you said was quite potent and pertinent, and I appreciate it that you like my blog as well. Thank you.
July 19, 2006 at 12:26 pm
Ahh i am so gelous – you watched and admired the 3 ep of H&C and i still haven’t seen it ! ! ! *)
Yet i should add that indeed people use to say that a real man do not cry, normally, however as was perfectly noted by NoodleHead, sometimes it’s just shows the level of hardness of the soul – people with too thick skin could never sense a refined and deep emotions. And each serie of H&C is like a tempest inside me. I too cry (well of course it not a rainfall but still- what is important is the mood itself) on a good and deep story but sometimes it happens a litle different – like i begin live half here in RL half there – inside the story and wish it goes on for an eternity – a kind of very simple yet addictive feeling. Yet again – i saw tons of blogs on the net, but i really read only yours – it is a compliment without a doubt – try to find someplace where the author is so sincere and honest with the readers and with himself – a hard job but you do it! and that is great! And some of your comments a priceless – you should some day publish them -) – gonna buy that book hehehe
Still society is around you, peole pass and go and do and the world will run even if anime will vanish …hehhe such a terrible thing i have said – ) i believe that if you will develop you mind and your skills you’ll be able to make something valuable to more peole(eventually even for the whole word), and not only for a number of anime-addicted guys hehe.
))))
Consider anime blogging as first step – and expand your self! After all anime is only one of differnt methods, technique i’d say, to reflect on nature of human mind and soul. Gmm.. what else can one add to this ? DO YOUR BEST MF**ER!!
p/s By the way – will you blog Ergo proxy 19 ?
maan! WE WANT YOU TO TALK!
p/p/s About school – you know, when i was in school i sometimes thought – “Oh God damn it! how boring stoopid and etc.” however eventually i understood that almost everything was really usefull to me –
sometimes not the material to learn but the studing itself, sometimes it was teaching me to be more disciplined, sometimes just to expand your knowledge – after all – you’ll never what exactly the life will ask you to do. The more you know the higher is the chance to find yourself in this life and to survive. It might be a little bit rought but it is in this way. So i suggest you – study well!
after all it might happen that your parents will cut your Internet connection due your bad marks(for some boring a ugly stuff of course!:)) and them immaging – what WE will do WITHOUT your blogging … honestly it will not be very fun -)
p/p/p/s sorry – maybe this post was too personal and after all i have right to make you notations …so if i offended you forget me please
July 19, 2006 at 4:12 pm
No offense taken. I’d really like to blog about Ergo Proxy 19, but pardon me if you guys have to wait – I have a week full of exams, and I think I’ve already flunked one, so I need to do better on this next one. At the latest, I’d do it Sunday morning, because I also have classes on a Saturday and that doesn’t make life any more fun. XD
I really appreciate your comments guys, and I take each and every one of your comments as (again) something that keeps me past the day-to-day troubles I have in life. This blog, however, wouldn’t be without you guys commenting, posting alternative opinions, making this discussion – not solely blogging, flourish. I think I’m going to kick ass in the next exam, lol. I hope I will.
July 19, 2006 at 7:05 pm
Hi animeotaku…I find it great that guys appreciate anime like HachiKuro. You say, “people seriously question why I watch anime ‘because it’s so gay.’” and that’s weird, because I have guy (and girl) friends who like anime (marketed for both genders) and I never saw them as gay. Weird, perhaps (I guess it comes with the package), but then I’m also weird, too. Lol.
I like reading about people’s insights into HachiKuro, so thanks for posting your thoughts.
It’s really touching to see how moved you are by the anime. And I personally don’t think there is anything wrong with unabashedly crying over something that touches you. I imagine that in high school, people would find you odd for being into anime, but college? There’s always someone who’ll share your passion for anime and other things, and I hope you find them.
What uni do you attend, btw? And what year are you in? It’s sad that you’re not taking up the course you want. But as someone said upthread, when you’ve graduated, you can do whatever you want. Trust me on this.
P.S. I never mentioned this on the forums but I too am from the same country. ;p
July 19, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Classified information …
July 19, 2006 at 8:02 pm
LoL from Pisay Mindanao! You originally from where? I’m from Davao myself and moved into albeit greener pastures here in the states.
mmm. Pisay huh? Do you happen to know any of your old seniors? How about that popular girl in school (which coincidentally is a student at AdMU, and is also taking the biology course)?
More on that later =)
July 19, 2006 at 8:50 pm
Whoa! ADMU ka rin pala? Cool. I majored in Lit, myself (batch ‘00, tanda ko na!). I took some Japanese subjects while I was there. I recommend taking the Japanese film class, if it’s still being offered.
Anyways, thanks for the info.
Hey, if it’s possible for you to shift, by all means do. You sound like a good candidate for Lit! Goodness knows there aren’t a lot of students majoring in that course. And y’know, most of the folk that like the stuff you also go for are in the liberal arts courses…hehe.
July 19, 2006 at 9:18 pm
The problem is, my father would probably have a heart attack if I did that, and my mom’s pouring her guts out working just for me to be a doctor. They’re afraid that I couldn’t get a decent job if I majored in Lit, and sadly, I obeyed them, because their arguments were quite valid and pertinent. I’m not one who usually goes back on his word, so I am sticking with this course (but I’m definitely getting a literature minor before I will proceed to med. school). Seeing that you’re pretty much an avid fan of books, I’m reading Smoke by Ivan Turgenev right now (I read Fathers and Sons about two years ago. I’m really a bibliophile, but it was tempered by anime – anime expends energy less, and since I’m a really lazy guy, I just watch rather than read. The reading hiatus only started six months ago, though. I mean, I read six books in a week about a year ago, and they weren’t your token Haruhi Suzumiya novels, but A Farewell to Arms, The Sound and the Fury, etc. As a whole, I just love reading classics.) I even made friends with Sir Danton! haha.
I’m really happy some Filipinos read my blog. I hope I’ve written intelligent stuff (amidst the fanboy-ish posts).
Oh, tritoch, I come from Davao City myself.
July 19, 2006 at 9:54 pm
Aww! That’s too bad.
I do know what your folks mean, though. But y’know, if you develop your writing and research skills you could break into advertising as a copywriter.
As for myself, I went into the field of graphic design…I realized I was better at communicating visually than verbally, and I admit I wasn’t that great a student in Lit. But I do love my books. I commend you for reading the classics! I have to be really interested to get into them. Oh, if you haven’t yet, try The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov. I think you’d like it.
Btw, try to befriend Sir Danny Reyes as well. He’s in the Fil Dept. but he also teaches Lit Criticism. He rocks!
July 19, 2006 at 10:26 pm
I read that a year ago. WOLAND FTW.
July 20, 2006 at 2:55 am
you mention cowboy bebop. did you watch samurai champloo? it’s on a different level, i guess… h&c has me by the gut as well
July 20, 2006 at 5:09 am
Great!
Online ka ba sa msn mo? di ka na ata nag oonline ehh.
July 20, 2006 at 11:00 am
Well.. it is a first time i see on the Blog when someone reads so much classics and especially Russian classic – as a russian i would like to say that it is definitely cool and great
Well. i see you are worrying about the job and the writing – believe – to be a good doctor (i mean REALLY GOOD Prof.) and to be and intresting writer (i mean one whos apart of originality and prof as writing skills is publishing in good journals and making papers and some reviews for the week journ etc. u understand ) – i mean, it is truly possible and well maybe you don’t know but we had recently a guy who was the best plastic surgery doctor in the whole Moscow (i am however not from Moskow but from the very heart of Siberia hehehe) and also he was quite popular writer with an unique style…hmmm the most similar maybe is the late Nabokov’s stories.
And also not all ofcourse but many famous artist had the writing originally as a hobby and yet they mastered the deal, so believe if gonna try you’ll have no problems – just understand how to manage your time….althought i wish i am able to do this too…
Actually anyone here is playing some instruments ? i currently as hobby learning how to play drums and that’s really great thing hehehe.
July 21, 2006 at 10:36 pm
wow… animeotaku i feel ur pain. Im a college senior and im getting ready to take the medical school (mCATS) exam in about a month… and i really wish i could talk to my freshman self and ask him why he wanted to become a doctor. My parents also chose my career path for me. It was either that or i had to pay for college myself. If i had my way i would have majored in film… but its sorta late now… im 21 and im studying for an exam i probably dont give a shit about… but i dont really have a choice right now… o well… i probably love anime for the same reasons u do.
And about the whole “losing ur manliness” thing…. i can honestly say that that is one of the reasons i truly love anime. Because i get to go to another world and experience numerous emotions that make me grow and learn. Most of the things i have learnt about love and life have been from anime. I am a 21 yr old pre-med student and i have learnt more about life from Anime than from organic Chemisty and fucking molecular biology. Courses that will not affect my life ever… but society demands that i take them for my major. My point is, experiencing emotions via anime does not affect ur manliness. i have only been watching anime since 2005. (wolf’s rain and cowboy bebop popped my anime cherry)
And i had the same reaction to Tsukihime…. i stared outside of my dorm window sophomre year for the longest time…. Planet ES had a profound effect on me and made me think about my life alot… and how and what direnction my future is going… i highly, highly recommend it.
i hope all is well.
July 22, 2006 at 5:53 am
hachikuro is a great anime, and one of the most believable ones I’ve seen in a long time. I think anyone could appreciate it and learn something from it. I’m male, and I’ve been tempted to cry while watching it (but never actually cried – too thick skin).
October 8, 2006 at 11:22 pm
in this episode what is that song playing when Nomiya calls Yamada and yamada telling her likes shes doing good but she really isnt